Tag: Citiot

A Citiot Comes to Columbia County, Part 6

Hi, I’m Kelly and I’m new to these parts. A Citiot Comes to Columbia County is my ongoing post about making the switch from life in the city to country living.

These Snakes Need to Get Back On their Plane

It all started when my dog found a snake in the house. A real life, on-the-loose snake that I figured had come in the front door without knocking first. I grabbed a broom, nudged it out, congratulated myself on not freaking out, and considered the matter done.  However, over the next few days I started seeing snakes outside the house near the foundation of the walls around the kitchen. Could the fact that these outdoor snakes were seemingly sliding in and out of cracks in the foundation mean that they were alsoindoor snakes? Had my first snake gone and told tales of luxurious indoor living, and now they were all coming to take a look?

Yes, this was in the house

Suddenly I remembered that my dog had made a new game out of barking at the fridge incessantly over the past few days.  Given that she’s most certainly certifiable, I hadn’t given it much thought at the time. But now, it all started to make sense. Indoor snakes!

Back outside you go!

At that point, I summoned up all my courage. And asked a friend to come help me. Shortly thereafter, we were peering at a couple of snakes behind the fridge.  Using the old broom and cardboard box trick, the first of several snakes were transported back out into the garden but more kept appearing. And so began a few days of charming snakes out from behind and under the warm confines of the fridge and oven. With the house having been empty for a few years, it seems that several species of snakes had taken up residence to stay warm in the winter, have babies, and shed a lot of skin. I would imagine they were pretty unhappy about being dislodged and sent on their way.

A few minutes of googling and facebooking assured us that we probably not dealing with anything poisonous, but a few were a bit too large and aggressive for my liking. After this, I virtually encapsulated my whole house with that expanding foam stuff and left for a week-long trip. I’ve been back for a while now, and so far no snakes inside the house. That I’ve seen.

A Citiot Comes to Columbia County, Part 5

Hi, I’m Kelly and I’m new to these parts. A Citiot Comes to Columbia County is my ongoing post about making the switch from life in the city to country living.

Making Progress

Yesterday when I went to the tip (that’s the county dump in these parts), a couple with a car full of garbage and recyclables asked me for help.  After I pointed out each station, they thanked me and explained that they have a weekend home in the area and couldn’t remember from when they were here last summer.  I smiled pleasantly, told them to enjoy their summer, and walked back to my car muttering “citiots” under my breath.

A Citiot Comes to Columbia County, Part 4

Hi, I’m Kelly and I’m new to these parts. A Citiot Comes to Columbia County is my ongoing post about making the switch from life in the city to country living.

Do Your Business Outside

As I’ve mentioned before, you don’t need to worry about sewage when you live in a city.  So naturally it didn’t occur to me to worry about it when I moved up here.  That didn’t last long. We’d just about gotten our boxes unpacked when we got some of our first house guests – four kids ranging in age from 5 to 13.

Within an hour of their arrival, sewage started backing up into the toilets, showers, and sinks. Grabbing a plunger and trying to make the best of it, I announced that at least no one would have to shower for the next few days.  Sounded like good news to me, but these kids were none too pleased with the idea of no showers.  Weirdos.

Once we realized that not only was the drain-o not doing anything but there was also sewage bubbling out of the bushes outside the house, we started calling around for help. The first guys that agreed to come out on a weekend had actually been out seven or so years before and remembered where the septic tank was – and that it had been in bad shape that far back. This was going to take a good three to who knows how many days to get fixed.

With that, the ‘if it’s yellow, let it mellow’ rule went into effect. Or better yet, use nature as intended. I’ll spare you the eight year old’s pronouncement on our diet when he peered into the open tank. None of the kids fell or were pushed into the septic tank, but by the time they went home on day three, they were rather sticky.

About a week later, we were back in business – no pun intended.  The only lasting downside was that the new leach field had to be put in place of the fenced-in garden we’d spent the prior week getting ready to plant our first vegetable garden.


A Citiot Comes to Columbia County, Part 3

Hi, I’m Kelly and I’m new to these parts. A Citiot Comes to Columbia County is my ongoing post about making the switch from life in the city to country living.

Buying a Car From a True Country Gentleman

So once I figured out where I actually now live (read Citiot Part 2 for that story), I realized I had something else to sort out. After walking around the garden, I quickly saw that there was no subway within a reasonable distance. I was going to have to buy a car.  Don’t get me wrong, I know how to drive a car. I even have a zipcar membership that I really must remember to cancel. But buying and owning a car? This is huge for a citiot. I was going to have to do some research, shop around, and haggle over prices.

So, the next day, I went to the first used car dealership I could find, picked out one of the three cars in the lot, drove it 500 feet up and down the road, and then proceeded to buy it for close to asking price. What could go wrong? Well shady dealings and shenanigans by the salesman, mailing of certified letters, invocations of lemon laws, and no small amount of money out of my pocket is what went wrong.

It was only once everything was resolved that it occurred to me that I was dealing with a Used Car Salesman. A real life one. Not just someone I referred to as one in an ironic manner. While riding the subway.


A Citiot Comes to Columbia County, Part 2

Hi, I’m Kelly and I’m new to these parts. A Citiot Comes to Columbia County is my ongoing post about making the switch from life in the city to country living.

I Don’t Live Where I Think I Live

As soon as I signed the lease on my shiny new home in the country, I scurried back to the city and did what any good citiot would do. I went online and, with lease in hand, updated my address with every bank, credit card, and magazine I could think of. It took three weeks of no mail at my new home and some careful sleuthing for me to discover that I don’t actually live where I thought I did. I don’t even live in the same town or the same zip code. A few months later, I have this mostly resolved. So what did this citiot, who until recently thought you could do everything online and that bricks and mortar post offices were obsolete, learn from this? That the post office is, in fact, the most important place in town. And Steve, who works there, is a gem of a man.